Oprah Magazine

Amy Gross, Editor in Chief

O, The Oprah Magazine
300 West 57th Street
New York, NY 10019-5915

August 30, 2006

Dear Amy Gross,

Last week I was bicycle touring along the Sunshine Coast. On Wednesday, after two days of intense cycling, I took a much needed break. My friend and I set up our tent at Porpoise Bay, and spent the afternoon lounging on the beach, waves rolling at our feet, the sun shining on our faces, and the wind blowing through our hair. It was the perfect afternoon, until I read your magazine.

I know I am not a middle aged woman, but I respect Oprah as a person and thought I would enjoy her magazine. I read the article “Why It’s Harder to Receive Than to Give” by Martha Beck, and was shocked that the article was published.

“All scholars agree, though, that those ancient Greeks could crank out dandy psychological metaphors, and one message in Pandora’s story is that gifts are psychologically loaded, full of potential to cause misery for the receiver… Think of the manipulative mother who gives her chubby daughter clothing a size too small… or the creep who buys sexy lingerie for a neighbor’s wife. These gifts can bring destructive energy into our psyches like soldiers in a Trojan horse… In the long run, we can’t stay emotionally healthy without accepting gifts… Refusing to receive leaves us chronically empty, prone to addiction, obsession, codependency, or an eternal psychological hunger that’s never quite satisfied…”

Are these statements based on facts? I would like to see some evidence supporting these claims.

“Take a bill from your wallet that’s large enough that you’d be upset if you lost it – maybe $1, maybe $100. Go to a public place, like a park or a mall, and find a spot with sporadic foot traffic. Wait until no one’s looking. Place your money on the ground and retreat to a spot nearby, where you can see whoever finds it. The money is your gift to this person… your heart clenches at the thought of an addict buying drugs with it, or a lawyer sliding it into an Armani pocket… To receive openheartedly, paradoxical though it seems, we have to endure the stages of grieving.”

This is absurd. I’m going to stop quoting now.

I know you are an exceedingly busy person, but I am hoping you will provide me with some insight into the article before I completely lose faith in the Oprah magazine. Could you please explain to me what these facts are based on, paraphrase the article emphasizing the key points, and “read between the lines” for me?

Thank you in advance for helping me reevaluate this article. I know I am just one person, but when executives share their experience and insights with simple people, it becomes a very valuable learning experience.

Cheers,

Jeremy David